Friday, July 20, 2012

a little faith

I've been literally drowning in a sea of children and responsibilities. Last week was so busy that I never want to think about it again. This week, I've decided to take off. I'm doing nothing outside of the home except swim practice for the kids and grocery shopping. We are hiding. So on this special occasion, I think I will blog....all of that along with the fact that Chris got a new laptop so I officially "inherited" his old one makes me want to blog again. I love the laptop. It's so easy and the children have not caught on to what it is exactly so they don't bug me while I'm on it. It's great. I use it in the kitchen and they think I'm cleaning or something...IDK, but it works. They leave me alone for five minutes!

I swear that I've been so busy that I have hardly had anytime to think, so my blog pools have been a bit dry. But today, alas, inspiration. Zander swims...yes we know. Zander swims on a very small team that we just love to death. Yes we know. Zander has a lane partner so every time he swims, it's with her.... Yes I said her. Meet my inspiration. As I type this Zander and his friend/lane partner Lili are in the next room playing video games. This is the second time she has come over to our house to play with Zander. Both times she's come in a dress. I think it's hilarious.

What is more hilarious is the differences between a 10 year old girl's brain and a 10 year old boy's brain. I remember being 10. I had crushes on everyone! I wanted to date everyone. I was obsessed with NKOTB. They were all sooooo cute.

Fast forward 18 years or so and I watch my son at 10. Utterly clueless and uninterested in girls. He builds things, burns things, breaks things. He has no interest in loving things. He has no idea that he is adored by his lane partner, but I see it. I see it because I was that little 10 year old girl. I watch her look at him and try to get his attention and I remember. Note to self...have a talk with Zander and tell him all of the things I wish boys realized when I was 10.

Our children are not allowed to date until they are 16, and even then it's strongly encouraged that they only group date. It's a good rule I tell you. I will have fewer pregnant teen daughters because of it! I told Zander the other day that when a girl askes him "out" (have I mentioned that this has already happened a few times in the last year) that he should say, "I don't date, but I'd love to spend some time with you hanging out". I think that's genius! If a boy said that to me at 10, 11, 12, 13 years old I would have been tickled. It's the perfect amount of interest mingled with boundaries. I have a feeling that this coming school year he will have the opportunity to use that line a few times. These girls are vultures!

I stand here watching my son straddle that line between child and teen and it simply worries me. I realize that the day is coming when he will rather talk to his friends instead of me and that breaks my heart. I hope that doesn't happen, but we all know it will. He's growing up so fast and I just want to hang on a bit longer. His friends are changing, his relationships are changing, his body is changing. I swear he's grown five inches in the last few months. If I bend down a bit we are eye to eye.

I hope as we enter this next phase the things we've taught him about God and Self are deeply enough rooted to keep him safe. I know he will fall, but I hope it's not too far. It seems that this next stage is the one where we sit and watch. Its the one where we let go a bit and hope he comes back every time. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to see him grow into a man. I'm excited to watch him get the Priesthood and prepare for his mission. I'm excited to watch him go to seminary and have those a ha moments when it comes to the life and teachings of Christ. I can say that as a parent I've done EVERYTHING to ensure that our relationship will be strong through these times. As for the rest, I will have faith.


Nicole said...

that's so cute!!! i love your idea of taking a week off. you need and deserve it!

narnianne said...

you do have such a sweet boy, you are a good mom and have taught him well. p.s. i love to hide in the house, it's one of my favorite things to do.