I'm kind of upset about some things. They are all really little, but for some reason they feel really big and I'm focused on them.
Recently I've felt very put down by one of my peers. I would never bring it up to them because it's a futile step that will surly end in things being much worse than they were. Some people cannot take ownership for anything. I know a few. People like that can never be told that they are doing anything wrong because a rationalization will alway be made to take the blame off of themselves. That's ok, I'm not like that. My initial reaction may be that, but after some minutes I really have no issue saying I was wrong. Anytime I hurt someone, I know that I did do SOMETHING wrong. I have no problem taking ownership.
A few areas of my life have been criticize and unfortunately they are the few areas that are so very near and dear to me.
I honestly say that I love every aspect of my life. I am happy with every bit of it. I have no wants or needs. I feel personally fulfilled spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I know I'm blessed and my prayers are constantly expressing my gratitude for the life I've been given. I am surrounded by love and acceptance in our home. I know who I am and where I want to go and have been lucky enough to find the path there.
That's me. I know that there are others who do not feel this same way about their life whether it was their decisions or divine intervention that got them there. Who knows. A while ago I posted something about equalizing. I know that it will never go away, but it still makes me mad when people do it. I found this quote by one of our church leaders that brought some comfort to my soul. It's silly but you get the point....
When I get hurt by someone putting our accomplishments down I NEED to remember this quote. There is someone in my life who is drinking a lot of pickle juice right now and I don't envy them. I honestly don't think I feel envy anyway. If I see something I want, I go for it. Anyone who knows me knows that is very true.
But in the early hours of the day, their envy is very hurtful to me and I just need to let that go. I'm thankful to this quote because it showed the me the source of the mean things said towards my way of life and my children. Problems are always handled better when the source is identified.
The last few months I have watched my children do some pretty amazing things, academically, physically, and spiritually. Every hour of my life is dedicated to their success as individuals and children of God. As they grow we are starting to see the fruits of those labors and we will not let anyone make us feel like our children are not good enough because of their jealousy. When it comes to life and children I truly believe that you reap what you sow. Too many people want it all without putting the work in. To them I say, you will get what you deserve and nothing more.
When my hair has gone all grey and I am surrounded by my posterity, I know with a certainty that my joy will be full. That my life will have been something of worth and something grand. I know these things because I am spending my mortality working for those goals. I do not expect something for nothing. I look forward to the day when all of these things shake out and all is known.
I taught Zander the meaning of the phrase "the proof is in the pudding". He was having an issue with a lot of trash talk while at swim meets. The other boys would say mean things about how they were all so much faster than Zander. Zander asked me what he should say when these feelings get hurt by mean words. I told him he need not say a word because the proof is in the pudding. He doesn't NEED to say anything to these boys because once the results are posted they will see with their eyes who was faster. I told him to be a silent example and let THEM learn a lesson.
So this morning I repeat that phrase to myself when I'm feeling bullied by my peers. I will take my own advice. It's funny how much I've learned in this life by being a mother. As for MY peers, they can belittle my life. They can put down my kids accomplishments. They can say there is no worth in my calling as a mother or choice to be a stay at home mom. They can continue to falsely lift themselves up by putting me down. I will say nothing to them. I will not waste anymore breath, but I assure you the day will come when they will see the proof is in the pudding.