Have you seen or heard this saying?
I have, over and over and over again. And every time I do, it grates my nerves...oh how it annoys. I've actually written this blog in my head a few times, but didn't want to give this ridiculous saying any air time.
WARNING--MELISSA IN THE RAW---SHE MAY OFFEND YOU---CONTINUE READING AT YOUR OWN FREE WILL AND CHOICE---AND DON'T BLAME ME FOR MY OPINIONS.
I'm a disclaimer kinda girl. Ask my husband...I love the disclaimer.
So this saying, where to start. If you didn't know what my house looked like would you assume, based on my family, that I qualify for being called a good mom because of the definition on this sign/saying?
I'm a dang good mom. Every moment of my day surrounds them and how I can be better for them. My kids occupy every part of my brain at the current stage we are in and I doubt that as time passes that will change much.
Being a good mom has zero to do with how clean your house is. They are not connected at all actually. Or are they.
My house is clean. It's very very clean. I often have friends razz me about it being so clean. Does this mean I'm a bad neglectful mother, or does this mean I've figured out how to manage a household and motivate the members in that household to...I don't know....HELP?? To me that is a much harder and rewarding task.
Children in this world don't know how to clean. They are entitled. It's easier to do their work for them and complain about it than actually TEACH them to do it themselves. Or it's easier to let it be messy and make plaques to hand in our home listing our excuses for our parenting shortcomings. It's easier to make signs putting down the ones that actually are doing it the right way and not making excuses. Yikes, this is getting mean.
Re-read the disclaimer please!
My good friend Melissa has some vinyl lettering in her house that says, work hard, play harder. I simply love that. We work in this house. We clean it together. They have age appropriate chores and are responsible for their junk. That's the bottom line.
Over the last 12 years, I've become quite good at homemaking. I can juggle and balance a house load. I can. I do my job well. If homemaking were an actual employment, I'd be a Director making six figures. I got it down. I spend less than an hour a day cleaning my house. Yes we have nearly five children and no I don't pay anyone to do it for me. The children pick up their room daily and whatever else I give them to do that takes from my hour. So some days I spend ten minutes cleaning the house, and each kid spends 10. Pretty good deal huh? The other hours in the day are spent having fun and doing what families do together.
I'm not sure what everyone else is doing in these other hours making them better moms than I am...what I actually see is an excuse. I see equalizing. This sign says to me, "I haven't figured out how to do my job, so I will put down the ones who have because surly it's not me. They must be neglecting their kids while trying to maintain a false appearance and a clean house." That's what I see from the side of the battle where I've already won. So ladies...figure it out and stop telling yourself lies.
Everyone knows that when you are in a clean and organized home you just feel better. When we do have a mess brewing I can feel disharmony. Everyone can.
Many many many of my friends have asked me how I keep up on the house and not clean all day everyday. Well it's really simple. I call it plate spinning. You have to jump in and get it to a good livable point if you are beyond messy. I can't help you there, that's all you! How bad do you want it?
Then its a matter of tending to the little things everyday to keep up with it. I do a deep clean once a week, but it's all spread across the week so I never feel wiped out. Also, the kitchen is done everyday. Dishes with every meal and floor swept after every meal. Counters are always cleared off and clean. That's a must because the kitchen is our center.
There rest is peripheral. One day I'll pick up all the extra junk on the floors upstairs and that's the day I'll vacuum too. The kids pick up their rooms nightly so I don't have to deal with that. It's not brain surgery here. Certain tasks go together. One day I'll windex all of the windexable surfaces, mirrors, countertops, tv's, dirty glass on doors, etc. When I sweep and mop downstairs, I sweep and mop the bathroom floors upstairs too. When I dust the kitchen table, I dust all of the wood everywhere else. I run around and get it done. When I bleach a load of towels, I bleach the toilets too. So as the week goes on it gets and stays clean. Simple maintenance keeps me from having to do much deep deep cleaning.
Everyday I am cleaning but not spending a ton of time on it. Spinning plates, see the analogy yet? It's simple. Although I have run into a little challenge here. I am pregnant with baby number five and I'm 32 not 22. Mama is tired. While the house is clean, there is clutter brewing. So I've made a spring cleaning plan. Mostly because I'm a list girl. I need to declutter and organize every room and closet in this house. I think I'm nesting...who knows. It's on my mind and driving me nuts. So here's my plan. Everyday I'm going to tackle one room or sets of rooms and totally knock it out.
The number next to it is the day I'm going to do it. Every square inch will be cleaned and organized in each area. At the end of one week, we will have a very organized house. Since i'm only doing one room a day, it won't feel overwhelming and after a few days the success will carry me into completing it. That's how goals work and why they are so important. To show us how far we have come when we see how far we have to go and just don't wanna do more.....
Are we still friends? Does being a good mom mean you have a messy house? Did I take this too literal and give it way too much thought (probably). I am here to share and motivate. I want others to have what I have because I obviously see worth in it and I believe they do too. I am tired of being put down because I have a strong work ethic. If you want something...go for it already and stop making excuses!! There is always room for improvement. Pick a spot and start chipping away. What you will be left with is self-confidence and the knowledge that you can do anything! It's a good feeling, let me tell you!!