Recently someone who I assume reads my blog asked me very innocently what my blog is all about. I kinda stumbled. I realize that this one is not the usually, "here's my three year old at the zoo riding an elephant statue", kinda blog. The question left me a little damaged. What is that blog all about?? I'm not the post a picture of the birthday cake girl. I'm just not. And while we do go to the zoo and we do eat beautiful birthday cakes...do I really feel the need to send that out into the world? Not really...Is that the mark I want to leave...no. (and I do realize that everyone doesn't use their blog to make a mark, and that's ok too.)
So this left me digging...what is this blog all about? Is it a journal? No. My journal would probably scare you all mwahahaha! Is it random family events? Sometimes. Is it a brag and not a blog? Oh gosh I hope not! So what's this blog all about?
As I've said in the past, words affect me. They just do. They flow from me and always have. I talk non-stop at home (like my kids...driving me nuts). When I was little my nickname was Loose Lips Liza. Yes I know beautiful. I remember driving my mom nuts with the talking. It seems for some reason, I just have a lot to say. So in a way, this blog is a way to say it. Say it to whomever feels the need to come back and check it. I truly believe I've been blessed with the gift of words. I see in in my children. I can move those children so easily with my words. I know what people need to hear and how they need to hear it, and I say it. This blog is a soundboard.
I often feel like I live in a totally different world than most people. I study this world we live in. Most often I feel like a spectator to it. I am a spectator, I don't want to play along with this world anymore. That's game is not fun for me. I use this blog to show other people that there's another way to get through this world. I use it to banish the misconceptions of womanhood, family, motherhood, christianity. Our family and lifestyle used to be the norm, but that's not the case anymore. Sad! This blog is an insight into a different way of life.
A big part of me and who I am is a motivator. I've truly seen miracles in lives. I believe so strongly that you can make your life all you want it to be and the power is in your hands. The world doesn't really teach that. Satan doesn't teach that. I am so inspired by so many things in my life and yearn for that for my friends and family and anyone who ever reads this blog to get up and do SOMETHING! I try to show my successes as a way to say, if I can do this you can certainly do that. Anyone whose known me since I was a child (and many of you do read this blog) know who I was then. You've all commented on the me I am now. Miracles I tell you! I use this blog to inspire.
Having said all of this I have to say I'm a pretty shy person. When I'm in a group of people I basically quietly observe. If I know you well then you get Loose Lips Liza, but that takes me a long time. I think often because of my quietness in new situations, my peers think I'm a stinker. The women do. Some have actually told me that. OUCH! My unwillingness to give into social standards have often had me labeled as an outcast. Oh if they only bothered to get past those judgements. I'm a kitty cat. This blog is a way for me to find others who think like I do, other outcasts, and to show who I am to an audience that wants to know.
Lastly, about 15 years ago I literally stumbled upon Christianity. Over the course of the last fifteen years I've felt a fire in me like no other and base all of my good on that stumbling event. Oh how I feel the weight of my baptismal covenant to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have not really used this blog as a way to communicate any of that. I'm not sure why. By large, my readers are not Mormon. I've kept this part a little private and I'm not sure why. I've felt very inspired lately to let the blog in on that part of me, that whole of me. If I can attempt to fulfill the pleading of my Father in Heaven to feed His sheep I will. Even if one sheep gets just a nibble that may help it later...that's great. I will use this blog to testify.
So is this blog a blog like unto others...naw. That's ok though, I won't feel badly about that. I won't let that question wound me. To me this blog is so much more than that. I'm thankful for the question because it made me really evaluate what it is I'm trying to do with these minutes I spend on here. For whose gain is it? Not mine...I assure you all I'd rather be reading or cooking or doing something else that causes me joy. But the ideas force their way into my head and my fingers need to let them out. I don't know why it works that way, but it does. This blog is my way of communicating whatever it is that I am asked to and I will do it until I'm told to stop. Thank you for coming and being a part of it.