Friday, November 4, 2011

3 months

There's this Kelly Clarkson song that I just love called Sober. Usually when I love a song it's the words that I love. I adore words. Strange? Yes! I realize this.

Growing up I wrote book upon book of poetry. Twisting words to not just sound cool but make the reader feel SOMETHING, was my passion. Anyway, I was dancing in my kitchen with my little ladies the other day, which is a very usual in these parts (please never drop by unannounced...the shame!), and that song came on. I know it by heart and as I was singing the words I realized that the song is not just about giving up an addiction to some substance such as alcohol or drugs of sort, but it could be about giving up any addiction. I started to remember this time when I was very addicted to this boy. How this relationship really ruined me and he in essence became a drug to me. As is common to me, my mind began racing about all of my successful turns away from addictions. I have a serious food addiction, but I've broken that addiction by control, I have to eat after all.

Then my mind stumbled on to my old friend Facebook. My most recent sweet addiction. The chorus of the song goes, "three months and I am still sober". I grabbed my calendar and traced back how long ago I gave up Facebook...well wouldn't you know it's been a few days over three months. And I'm still sober! Not one time have I peeked or even signed in to that account. Not one day has gone by that I've missed that addiction that has now grown sour in my mouth.

I really believe in the process of sharing experiences to help one another. After all, if it weren't for the amazing women around me throughout my life I would never be successful in anything that I do. I've learned so much from their example, trials, advice, and soft corrections.

Since giving up that ol temptress, I've changed in the following ways:

I am much slower to anger towards my fellow men

I am more patient with people

I've forced my self to step outside the computer box and actually communicate with people, if there's someone I want to get to know, I have to talk to them not just friend them.

I've mended a handful of relationships that went south because of my involvement on facebook

I am so much more productive during my down times when I'd normally look at facebook

I am less consumed with what everyone else is doing and focus more time on what I CAN be doing

I spend less time dwelling on my hurt feeling through poor facebook translation

These are the major ones. Now ask me what I miss....nothing! It took a good three days to get it out of my system. Random status updates kept popping in my head throughout the day. I started to just write them down or text them to my friends, just to get it out. But honestly after three days....I rarely ever thought about it again.

Even now when I hear people talking about facebook or see women obsessing over something a friend said on facebook, I take peace in knowing that I let that vice go. Yesterday I was around a bunch of my kids peers and as they were all playing I was checking my email on my phone. One little girl asked me if I was on facebook. I interpreted this question as her asking me if I have an account. I snapped an answer right back at her and said no I don't use facebook. I wasn't offended really, it was just that in my head, I am so far removed from that and have such an aversion, that I didn't want anyone to think I had anything to do with it. So funny how times have changed.

So for me, "three months and I'm still sober"!

I truly feel like a part of me has returned to the simpler times in life. I shed off something of this world that was holding my progression back. I realize that this is not what facebook is for everyone, but I do know that nearly everyone whom I've told about me giving it up has told me that they've thought about doing it themselves many times....very telling. Another friend of mine gave it up around the same time I did. She did it for her reasons and has also been successful without regrets.

If there's something in your life that is holding you back, I urge you to let it go. If it doesn't produce a good fruit and seems like it will be too hard to let go, I assure you those are the ones you need to! I also know from experience that everything hard is worth every effort a hundred fold. We all have vices we hang onto...shake them off. Don't let things control you. Remember you're in charge.


Nicole said...

get outta my head woman!!! i haven't heard the song, here i come. but i'm sure i will totally relate and who doesn't love a good kelly clarkson song?

Nicole said...

and thanks for being my inspiration. :D you are da best!

nuttbutts said...

i thought that was lady gaga or something...
also, do you think you could give me permission to see your photo blog again?

Melissa said...

Most def not Gaga! I haven't done anything on the photo blog.,,,one day....I'll let you know when it's open. I miss youuuu Sara!!!!