Sunday, August 28, 2011

Facebook Anonymous

After almost a year of contemplation, I'm deleting my facebook account. It was such a hard choice and I'm not sure why, but the vice it held on me was strong. Ive given it up for a few days or weeks at a time, but always went back to the ol temptress.

I'm making the change because over the last two years I've noticed a great change in ME and the only thing I can put my finger on is facebook. My general mood towards others has really changed. My relationships with those who live close to me in particular. I find myself so irritated with people that I develop opinions of them based on side comments they've made on here. That's not good, and I know that that has happened to me very much. I feel like I'm totally misunderstood by most of my peers. I know this because when people actually get to know me, they always tell me that I'm not at all what they thought. That makes me so sad. I try so hard to be the best person I can be and to know that people just don't get me and think negatively about me breaks my heart. I've had so many misunderstanding due to tone on there. I've misunderstood people. I've lost friends. I've allowed myself to be so offended. I've caused offense out of shear temptation, and succumbing to a loss of tolerance. These cyber relationships have literally ruined my view on mankind. I prefer to live in the dark, or live in my bubble.

Sure there is a good side to facebook, but for me the bad really out ways the goods. I have found all of my old friends from my childhood except one. I've reconnected with family.

I saw this blurb on CNN about technology addiction, and I definitely saw some warning signs in the way I use facebook. Now I don't sit on it for hours. I have the app on my phone and most of my facebook time is when I'm waiting for someone or something. I don't neglect the family for anything I'm doing on there, but I do check it often. I have a hard time not checking it and feel a pull to it constantly. I don't like "things" to have that control over me. I'm left trying to figure out why. Why do I feel like I need it so much. Most things on there are superficial. Most relationships on there are superficial too. I dislike that and the way it makes me feel to constantly be involved in it.

After really thinking about it, and I've decided what about facebook the most is that I like having the voice. I love the creative outlet for my words. Also,  I've been told by a few that I have inspired them in different ways. I like that. I like to show people that there is a better way, or another way. I likewise enjoy learning from the ones that show me that same thing. These are the goods about my facebook experience. These experiences are the meat of facebook and if I could insure that all interactions were as pleasant, I'd stick to it.

So now what? Well maybe I'll actually keep up with the blog again. The blog offers much less temptation to "come back" on comments made by others. If someone doesn't like what I have to say, then they don't have to come here. It's not popping up in front of their face on facebook. In the blog I don't have to see the braggy braggy that goes on. I won't be challenged by the random friends of friends on my playful comments. I can invite whomever I want to view it if I feel that need.

So here it is. If you are sad at the Melissa loss on your facebook addiction, I'll keep in touch. Send me an email, give me a call or text. I love texting....I'll always text. Tell me you miss me and I will do the same and maybe we can have lunch, or a phone call. That's better than a status update anyway right?!?

Check back here as I promise to update since it's my only way of sharing photos with friends and family. That's the whole reason this blogging started up in the first place. It was a place for me to show our long distance family what our kids are up to since we do live so far. It was a service. Wow how blogging has changed. I'm going back to basics and I'm simply thrilled. I invite you to examine your facebook feelings. Make changes where needed, but don't let something else of this world have such a powerful hold over you as I know it does have many.

You know where I am!


Lauren said...

I hear you. I've been thinking a lot lately about the time I spend on Facebook as well and have been hiding or deleting a lot of "friends" that I don't need constant updates from. I'm trying to keep it strictly to the long-distance friends that I wouldn't otherwise keep in as frequent contact with. I put your number in my phone so I won't lose it when you delete your account. :) Was that your cell number? Maybe I will text you! I do owe you a call anyway.

Morgan said...

Your daily posts will be missed, but I understand your reasoning. I'm still happy to have reconnected, and look forward to keeping up with you through other means. AND I'm hoping to see more of your beautiful photography on here. Stay true to you.

cori said...

I get it. I have really reduced my time on FB lately too. I do love how when you do something, you do it whole hog. I'll be in touch...and blogstalking you...hahahaha!!!

Denise said...

I must admit when you asked for my info...I knew :( I totally understand and agree with both sides of your personal debate. I myself feel the same way. At this point (for me of course) I still feel I can say a word to encourage or uplift so my time is limited but it to will come to an end as well in the near future. Facebook has some real ugly faces. It causes drama, fights and hurt feelings and that just with family alone! haha So, I will miss your wit and charm because...I get you! Please text me when your "in between" time arises for a quick howdy and also send me your blog update notices.
I am grateful FB has helped us reconnect our family ties but more importantly build a friendship. Take care and Blog me later ;) xo

nuttbutts said...

i will miss you, but i totally understand. i can always come here for my melissa "fix"!

Melissa said...

it's so funny because it's all of you that I don't want to lose. The ones that have not commented, sent me a note, or even read this are the ones that I need to get rid of. Each comment or note begging me to stay is from the dear ones that I've loved being a part of. That's why it is so hard, but I'm not sure if I just change the way I do facebook that it will be enough.

Chrissy said...

Boooo! :( I miss you on Facebook... it truly is not the same, but I definitely understand your reasons. Glad we reconnected and hope we will never lose touch. I think I may need to create a blog one of these days... hopefully when I have something to blog about. I'm pretty lame though at the moment, lol.