Has anyone ever said this to you about anything? Until today I don't think anyone has ever said this to me. And if I do say so it just bugged me to death. Envy is not an emotion I feel very often or if at all really. There are plenty of other bad emotions I feel, but envy...not so much. Let me tell you how it went down and why.
I have this friend who recently went through weight loss surgery. She's lost over a hundred pounds and looks so great. She ALWAYS looked beautiful to me and is a beautiful person to boot. I'm so proud of the change she's made and of her for improving her life.
Well another friend and I were talking about this dramatic change in our now skinny friend, how she looks amazing, how she doesnt have all of that extra skin hanging, and how she didn't lose her boobs from the weight loss. While we were discussing this, she was talking to a very lovely older lady in the ward who overheard us going into how impressed we were with our friend and turned to us and stated, "you're just jealous". That comment brought such irritation in me that I cannot even describe. So I took a mental check....am I jealous of my hottie friend??
Jealously was not the source of my irritation. Once again it was inderestimation that got me. About six years ago I was overweight. I was always a little soft, but marriage and the birth of Zander and Mia both added up and I was just plain ol chunky. When Mia was a few months old I decided that enough was enough and the pain of losing weight was much less than the pain of being fat, so I was ripe for change. Over the course of three months I lost fifty pounds. All I did was cut all of my portions in half and I started running for an hour a day. I ate nothing but clean food and really focused on getting that weight off. I went from a size 16 to a size 6. I've kept the weight off for six years and two babies. My life was completely changed because of that. I learned that I can do anything.
A few readers of this blog watched that change, but I realize that most people who know me now know nothing of that. I can honestly say that right now...everyday I find myself more attractive than I have ever been in my life. My self confidence in that area has never been lacking since I lost the weight...it is often the other way. I've worked so hard on my physical self that I am so proud of where I came from and where I am. I can honestly say that I NEVER look at another woman and wish I was like her, or jealous of what she is. And if by chance I see something in myself that I don't like or want to change...well...I do it! What an amazing concept. Why be jealous, be motivated.
So I will say this to my well meaning older lady friend in the ward who probably didn't mean ANYHING by her comment...no, I'm not jealous! I'm happy for my friend. I know the road of weight loss is hard, I've done it, and I continue to. I know the joy of setting goals and reaching them. I know the blessings of self-control, I've tested them and proved them. I know you were being funny, but I didn't laugh. This has also taught me a lesson of knowing my audience a little better before I make seemingly light-hearted comments...