So lately I've had a big mouth. I'm not sure why, but my filter is missing. I have two states of being...loud and opinionated, or mute. They are both me. I prefer mute, because when I do speak my mind it causes a snowball affect with others and I get louder and more mean. So mute is my method of choice.
It may be the hormones, but mute me has been killed by opinionated me. Don't get me wrong the opinonated me is still there, but she is being smothered by a pillow that mute me is holding...
I've decided that if I'm going to live in this world, mute me needs to be more present. I've been teaching Zander about tolerance lately. His little sister...the one with the blue eyes...has been driving him crazy. It's gotten to the point where he is so annoyed with her that when she says ANYTHING to him, he is rude to her. It breaks my heart. Now don't get me wrong, she is a stinker to him 99 percent of the time as well, but there's that one percent that I wish he would put light on in hopes to encourage more of that desired behavior...So what does that have to do with me?
Well I think that my problem is that I have zero tolerance for people in this world. None. Zip! It's so bad that I either lash out or force myself to be mute. Why can't I just let it roll like I tell Zander to do with his sister. Maybe I havent been around enough good people. Maybe I can't recognize the good in people because I'm not used to seeing it. Is this why older people are always so quite?? They've seen it all before and know that people are people and choose not to play the game....Hmmm!
Anyone else have a similar problem?