Thursday, September 16, 2010

Mute me

So lately I've had a big mouth. I'm not sure why, but my filter is missing. I have two states of being...loud and opinionated, or mute. They are both me. I prefer mute, because when I do speak my mind it causes a snowball affect with others and I get louder and more mean. So mute is my method of choice.
It may be the hormones, but mute me has been killed by opinionated me. Don't get me wrong the opinonated me is still there, but she is being smothered by a pillow that mute me is holding...
I've decided that if I'm going to live in this world, mute me needs to be more present. I've been teaching Zander about tolerance lately. His little sister...the one with the blue eyes...has been driving him crazy. It's gotten to the point where he is so annoyed with her that when she says ANYTHING to him, he is rude to her. It breaks my heart. Now don't get me wrong, she is a stinker to him 99 percent of the time as well, but there's that one percent that I wish he would put light on in hopes to encourage more of that desired behavior...So what does that have to do with me?

Well I think that my problem is that I have zero tolerance for people in this world. None. Zip! It's so bad that I either lash out or force myself to be mute. Why can't I just let it roll like I tell Zander to do with his sister. Maybe I havent been around enough good people. Maybe I can't recognize the good in people because I'm not used to seeing it. Is this why older people are always so quite?? They've seen it all before and know that people are people and choose not to play the game....Hmmm!
Anyone else have a similar problem?


Anonymous said...

I am in the EXACT same position. I have made people mad at me...but for some reason, I jsut cannot hold it in anymore!!! I am sick of being nice!!! ha ah!

Melissa said...

Lindley so funny! I think there has to be a way to let it out and not be mean, but I've yet to figure that one out. If you find a way let me know. I have to say though, that true friends will love you for your honesty and ignore the filterlessness...that's why I have only three maybe four adults in this world who like me.

Sarah said...

I always vote for avoiding conflict over causing it. Or at least I used to. I think I need a refresher course.