Monday, April 26, 2010


Chris and I are not always the best parents. Neither of us really likes kids. We love ours of course because there seems to be some genetic disposition to do so, but we're just not kid people. Kids are so much work and for the selfish this is just not a good thing. I suppose that's why we are supposed to have kids, to break this selfish cycle. Being selfish is bad...very bad. Bad in marriage, bad in friendships, bad in families. It's a ruiner for sure.

So here we are two selfish people with a slew of kids and more to come. I personally have always looked at having babies as an investment for greater things to come. What I am really looking forward to is having adult kids. Friends that have to like me because they are commanded to, and I gave them life and hopefully a little more. I'm looking forward to grandkids that I can look at from a distance and buy stuff for because that's how we show our love, that and food.

I have to say though, that having kids has been a little harder on Chris than I. I'm not sure if it's a man thing or what, but he is less patient and gets irritated easier than I do. Don't get me wrong, he's a great dad, but he has had to work at it a lot more than I have.

In a blessing he got once it mentioned how his children will be a true joy to him. I always laugh to myself about this when he is complaining about something when one of our spastic girls is being, well a spastic girl. I think...oh yeah, here's the joy!

A few years back we talked about this blessing that he received, and that specific line. We talked about how we just didn't see this child rearing thing as a true joy. That it most often sucked and is so much work. Which is true by the way, but in all of the suckage, there are moments. There are sweet, very tender moments. Moments of true joy. A loving Heavenly Father would not give us this huge responsibility without some frosting.

Our challenge is being able to see those moments for what they are. To recognize them and remember them when a child is throwing up in your hair. It's not an easy task, but it makes it all the much more sweeter and worth every bit of selfless sacrifice.

We made a goal to make notice of the joyous moments in our family life. It's almost turned into a joke between most things do. For example, yesterday we had the opportunity to all be together, which is not easy for us due to Chris' schedule. We were outside playing a game of washers, the kids were laughing, the wind was blowing, and the girls were winning. It was quiet, but loud with laughter. Chris and I looked at each other at the exact same moment in time and simply said "JOY". It was joy; there is no other word to describe the feeling at that time. We felt it, the kids felt it. That small moment is what gives a parent the energy to see that it IS all worth it. The barf in the hair, the fighting, the messy rooms, the uneaten dinners, the everything that sucks. Brief moments of joy. I can't explain the feeling itself. I can't put words to it, but it is sweeter than any other emotion I've ever felt.

I know that since we've started looking for these moments Chris and I have been better parents. It shows us that we are not alone in this family rearing and as with most things in this life, all we endure is for making us stronger better people. If you're having an especially tough day, I suggest you look for those moments in your past. They will help you get through it with a smile and living children.

1 comment:

nuttbutts said...

awwww! i love this! i couldnt agree more with your assesment of child rearing and children in general. i am also not a kid person (no surprise there) but i do love mine. and i completely understand the moments of joy. i think they are coming around more often because mine are getting older and i am less stressed since i dont have a baby. you are so funny :)